Saturday, June 30, 2012

"Big Things Have Small Beginnings."

I finally saved up enough of my pennies to go see Prometheus, and although I didn't get to see it in 3-D or on an epic size screen it was still pretty amazing to see. I enjoyed the film and gave it a high rating (Strong Ability). I you liked Alien and Aliens then you'll more then love this film, which is an edition to the Alien story, although it functions more the way a prequel would. It answers some questions but raises many more, which I think is good as it leaves the audience wondering and having them use their imagination more then if everything was explained and told. Perhaps Ridley Scott has more Alien films in him yet. There is one story element that I loved most of all, and that was his explanation of how the human race was created. I loved that idea, as I was thinking of something similar to that myself when an idea for a story came to me a couple weeks ago. Whether or not it is true, it definitely makes for good theory and a good story/plot. That wasn't the whole day though; I did get a bit of writing done and am almost to the halfway point to the new story that I am writing. After tomorrow I should be well on my way to the climax hopefully if I push myself. A little fun fact that I want to share with ya'll is a headline I saw on Remember how I said people seem to be more concerned with their own personal desire and selves that they could care less about what is happening over in China, Syria, North Korea? Well when you have a 90,000 square foot house I think you're overdoing it just a tad. When completed it will be the largest home in the United States; the stats on the production of this house are staggering: 160 windows that cost $4 million, imported white marble from Italy (which the entire house will be covered in), 20 car garage, wine cellar for 20,000 bottles of wine, and a stained glass window. Unfortunately, it hasn't been completed because the owners ran out of money (big surprise), but these people really put the "glut" in American selfishness. Now I don't think people should be told what to do with their money, or ordered how to spend it, but come on, use some common sense. Who really needs a house like that, unless you were the emperor of China seven hundred years ago.

Prometheus Scene (didn't appear in theatrical version, but still very interesting).

Prometheus Documentary

Friday, June 29, 2012

"You're Out of Your god-damn Mind!"

Now I know that I am off to a good start. I am actually amazed how quickly the day went by. I actually just finished reading my newspapers, and to say the least there are a lot of terrible and interesting things happening in the world. Here's a sad statistic for you; according to an article that I read by a Turkish journalist, Bashar al Assad has killed over 16,000 of his own people and the United States along with most of the world has done very little to stem the bloodshed. Turkey seems to be the only one giving direct help, a pity the only Superpower in the world is sitting on its hands. Such a shame. I didn't get as much writing done today as I wanted to because I had a friend come over and we watched "Ocean's 11," hence the title of the post. I forgot how much I actually like that film; very clever writing, excellent acting, and directed with stunning....well.....beautiful dynamism ( I think I'm using that word correctly, or rather the tense; isn't the English vocabulary charming). I was able to punch in quite a few hours worth of writing on the new children's book that I am working on, but then I also moved on to something else that I have been wanting to do for a while. I love film music a lot; it is essentially the genre of music that I consistently listen to that is current, aside from a few artists. So today when I was doing a review of The Hunt for Red October film score, I created a new method for reviewing a film score without endlessly blathering on using words to describe what I did and didn't like. I mean honestly when you read a review you're looking for reasons to or to not read, watch, listen, or whatever it may be; you're not looking for a dissertation or essay. I think this process is much easier, and I might even apply a similar method for all of my film reviews eventually. Oh, and I'd like to thank my good friend Victoria (the one who watched the aforementioned above film with me) for the Josh Groban poster that she brought back from seeing him in concert in L.A. I must admit that I was quite jealous; I dislike being strapped for cash, and of course being unemployed. Oh well, at least I don't have to worry about people shooting at me or a bomb going off when I go shopping at Target. Look on the bright side; what the heck else are you supposed to do.

Hymn to Red October from "The Hunt For Red October"

"Poker Scene" from Ocean's 11

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Back in the Saddle Again.

So last night after I finished blogging I actually did write quite a bit, up until almost midnight. I acquired this fantastic idea for a children's book and so now I am writing the rough outline for it, which is what I wrote last night, and most of today as well. It is actually coming along splendidly well, and I am going to try and write the rough outline and then shop it around at publishers. I was told that Shakespeare couldn't write unless he was under pressure, or had a need to write; perhaps it is the same with me. Or I'm thinking in my head that since I have the extra time, why waste it by doing nothing. I will still look for full time work (and did today as well) but why not try this avenue as well, perhaps I'll get lucky. Children's books after all are in, and publishers are looking for the next "Harry Potter" so who knows; might as well go for it. It gives me something to do, and exercises my talents as a writer too so it's a win-win. There is also something quite satisfying to do some serious writing again; none of this short story or episodic stuff, which is great don't get me wrong, but there is nothing like writing and developing an entire book from scratch. I love it. Umm....aside from that, which I did for a combined....oh let's see.....six hours or so I think, my day was uneventful. I set up some stuff with Google for the adsense you guys see on my blog (thank you for clicking on any ads you come across on my blog or website). I watched Week 6 of In Treatment and it was wow, but not as wowing as Week 5. There was one major surprise, but the rest were all rather....stupid I suppose is the word that I am looking for. I suppose that isn't very therapeutic for me to say as a psych person, but hey some of these characters are quite ridiculous when it comes to their problems. Some of it I can understand, but then...well not so much. I am certainly looking forward to see how they end out the rest of the season, and if any of the same people will carry over to the next season. You know how I get on my soapbox and talk about Syria, well I'm going to mention a different issue tonight. I was reading the Wall Street Journal from today and read an article about a Chinese woman who was forced to abort her 7 month old baby because of the "One Child Policy" that the Chinese government uses to keep their people in check (politically and physically). She was treated with a lot of hostility for sharing this with the foreign press, her husband has disappeared, and she has been forced to remain in the hospital for a month. I think the U.S. Government and every other "civilized" country in the world needs to address the human rights violations that this country is perpetrating, instead of turning a blind eye just because they're rich and powerful so that the rich and powerful can get into the proverbial bed with China's economy and wealth. That stinks, especially for the people in China who get their rights trampled all over just because they want to have more than one child. I really hope people don't overlook what China is just because of what it offers, because if we do as people ignore that, then my god where is the human race headed for.

In Treatment a Closer Look at Tuesday Patient "Alex"

Wednesday, June 27, 2012


You know yesterday I mentioned all of that chat about making lemonade from lemons (a little phrase one of my former psych professors from college used a lot, and wisely so) and seeing the light in the tunnel or something to that extent. Well all of that excitement and hype can have fallout like caffeine withdrawal, but I'm not saying that today was crap, but good news always does seem to help make the crap feel not much like crap. It is easier to remain on the top of the mountain then live from beyond it. Today I once again had to face reality that I was currently unemployed and trying to obtain another job, although I may begin to lose my picky nature when it comes time for looking. After all I have enjoyed my independent living so far, I'd hate to lose it just because picky nature. Aside from all of that lovely job hunting and doing nothing, I did get some writing done today. I completed another story for The Sword and the Shield: Sifting Through the Lies. As I continue to write the series I continue to get close to the climax, which I guarantee will surprise anyone, to an extent depending on how much you've read or know about writing, or in particular how I write. Now if I can just finish all of the episodes before November than the timeline for the story will be perfect. I've had other things swirling around inside of my head for stories, but I would sadly never have enough time to write about them all even if writing was my full time job, and even at my own discretion. I made myself some delicious salmon, vegetables, potatoes, and then for dessert I made myself some lemon poppy-seed muffins; I cannot describe how scrumptious they taste fresh and warm directly out of the oven. Well I'm going to attempt to get some more writing done and ignore my loud, rude and obnoxious neighbors; I have to wear headphones to block out the noise. I suppose I should do something about that. I hope that everyone's week is wrapping up nicely.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

A Taste of the Future....

There are some days in life when you get a whole lot of lemonade made from all of the lemons that you've had stockpiling in your kitchen. You see it right next to these words you are reading that I am writing; here the concept design for the latest edition of The Curse of a Warrior. My cover designer sent it to me today and we went back and forth for a little bit on some of the finer details, but I was in a state of bliss when I saw it for the first time. I am more excited than ever to get this book out and get on with my trilogy, and hopefully that is what will happen. Time and patience are not easy pills to swallow, but the medicine does us good more often than we'd like to admit it. I get goosebumps thinking of what the cover is going to look like for the second book, and I think I am already getting some ideas for it. Life does oftentimes suck, but then are times when it is so sweet; I am going to bask in this moment (I already have since it happened earlier in the day) and enjoy it for what it is. A small victory against the odds. The rest of the day was rather anti-climactic to say the least when compared to that development for my trilogy. I got hung up on the computer playing a game for longer than I had anticipated, but it happens. I applied for another job today, see where that goes, and I had a good friend come over and we watched Sucker Punch, which was the first time that she saw it and she loved it of course. Zack Snyder is such an incredible director with such a dynamic visual style; very fresh and modern. I can't wait to see what he's going to do with Superman: Man of Steel, and of course Hans Zimmer will be composing the film score so hopefully he can deliver something fresh and new, but also still retain the musical anchor that John Williams originally created. I am sad to report that Nora Ephron, the woman who directed and wrote films like Sleepless in Seattle and Julie & Julia has died from a fight with cancer. She was a great writer and a great director and her talents will be grievously missed in the film community, and of course the film goers always suffer when what little talent Hollywood possesses gets lost. However, her films and art will live on as long as there people to watch films and enjoy well made films. I'm all backwards since I don't work where I used to anymore, so tomorrow is Wednesday not Tuesday or rather see I'm doing it right now. Anyways. We shall see what the next few days bring, hopefully more good news.

Sleepless in Seattle Trailer (to remember my most favorite Nora Ephron film).

Sucker Punch fight scene

Monday, June 25, 2012

How's Therapy Going?

The rest of the day wasn't overly exciting. Did some job hunting and found nothing of course, which sucks. Hopefully something will pop up, otherwise...well let's just say it will make life really.....exciting, which in my case means that it's going to suck. Even with the furniture rearranged things are still loud and shake from the neighbors noise. Here I am typing on my laptop and then next door goes "boom" or "smack" and the screen shakes. You'd think that some people have some common courtesy, but apparently in this day and age it is going the way of the dinosaur unfortunately. Perhaps I'd be happier in a monastery; quiet, reflective, and a community always there for you. I don't think I could get used to the robes, and other rules most likely. If I ever get my own home, I'm sure it will be very similar to a monastery. I did some more writing and made some good progress, but the obnoxious noise from next door interfered with my "zone" and thus I stopped, but I made some good headway. Week 5 of In Treatment was wow! Intense, really, really intense and good. There was all kinds of this raw emotion that was potent and destructive, but really helped you see into the characters. Made me think twice about going into private practice that is for certain, however I am certain that I still want to do it. Only 4 weeks (discs) left of season 1; should be interesting to see how the rest of the season continues and then concludes. Well I cannot say that anything else interesting (if any of that was interesting) happened today so I think I will leave it at that. I hope that everyone is having a good week.

The Immortal Words of Socrates.

"I drank what?" I actually stole that from an 80's film called Real Genius which stars Val Kilmer; very, very, very amusing and clever. I highly recommend it, although I grew up on an edited version my father created so us kids could watch it, which is the one I favor. I actually did rearrange the furniture in my living room and true to style after I had unplugged my internet stuff it didn't work like it was supposed to, so I couldn't post anything unfortunately but it happens I guess. I am doing it now though because, well why not. Yesterday sucked a lot, but here I am today. I did some writing, or rather brainstorming. I'm attempting to come up with an entirely different type of species that doesn't resemble anything humanoid, or any other type of creature on this planet. Talk about a brain exercise all in itself, I actually had to take a break because I was really trying to put my mind outside of every box that could be conceived of, so to speak. I was able to get a few good species, but I cheated when I created them. It was a lot of fun, but a lot of work; if I wouldn't have been so doggone put off I would have been able to do so much more. I watched Beauty & The Beast the Walt Disney version. Even though they could be critiqued as being children's films and stories, films and stories of the like help fuel my imagination and my escapist need to evacuate reality. Speaking of getting out of reality, you know I've discovered that writers are like gods. We create life, civilizations, planets, people, and can destroy any of it at will. I suppose if you follow that line of thinking, if you create anything and in a way give it life, then you are a god with that logic. Huh. That's very interesting food for thought. Give's new meaning for being made in God's image as the Bible claims. As you can see my internet is back up and operational so hopefully it will remain that way for the rest of the day and week for that matter. I'm rather tired of experiencing difficulties with that marvelous invention. Congratulations to Egypt for electing its latest President, hopefully the military and other entities will not crush this blossoming democracy but let it grow and change as time passes, much like the United States did and now is. We weren't always opened minded when it came to personal rights and freedom.

A Scene from Real Genius (I find it quite hilarious; my sisters and I quoted it a lot growing up).

Anna Karenina Trailer (certainly looks interesting, but any good? We'll see).

Beauty and the Beast Prologue. (Absolutely stunning music and visuals, no wonder it was nominated for a few Academy Awards).

Saturday, June 23, 2012

One Week Left.

At first I was surprised to see that June was here so quickly, but now with only one week of June left I cannot believe that July is almost here. Regardless of what happens time never seems to stop or even pause for just a teeny, tiny bit unfortunately. Today was...well today was....less than productive I suppose one could put it and I think that I will leave it at that. One of the annoying things about writing for me is that I like the creating and designing process, but when it get's time to actually sit down and write that's when I begin to get lazy and unmotivated. I still think that if I knew that my writing was going to make me profit in some way that would help get me motivated to write more, but at the moment that is an unrealistic point of view. After I post this I might do some writing due to some inspiration today, although I might rearrange the furniture in the living room so my back isn't against the wall of the adjoining neighbors and my sound system and television are instead. Perhaps that will help drown out the shouting and tromping of elephants. Well, perhaps tomorrow I will feel like doing more. Won't keep my fingers crossed though, might as well partially enjoy not being a full time employee while it lasts.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Food Fit for a King.

So today I did laundry, job hunting, and some apartment work. I was surprised how much time it took me to do some job hunting. That's what I dislike about job hunting; it's almost like you're wasting time, but then it is necessary to obtain a job and so that's what you have to do. I found some good prospects and sent off my resume, and now I wait and continue to look; how boring. I didn't get any writing done because frankly I didn't want to do any; just couldn't get the motivation for whatever reason. I guess I should continue to work on that. Had a good friend come over and we watched The Young Victoria which was awesome, and I made us chicken fajitas which also were amazing. I got to explore the "farmer's market" for the first time today and it was interesting; the people seemed to be very friendly. My friend and I got some fresh produce there and it tasted pretty darn good. After the film we had a long conversation about history, religion, friends,  movies and other such things. It was lovely. While I was walking her to her vehicle we came across a skunk, which we carefully avoided and it thankfully did the same for us. On the average it was a fairly boring day, but perhaps tomorrow will be different. Who knows. Don't feel like yacking much today so we'll call it quits and move onto something else. Have an awesome weekend everyone.

The Young Victoria Trailer

Emily Blunt Interview

Thursday, June 21, 2012

A Step.

Well today I finalized some adjustments to my resume and sent it out to a few places. Wow! That was something to do after being at the same place for over 2 years; you tend to develop a comfort level, which then you find yourself out of and feeling quite vulnerable. But it is at least a step in the right direction, tomorrow I send out the next volley and hope for the best. Being a full time writer I believe is what would make me the happiest, but I may be a while from that happening although I do believe eventually that will happen for me. Then as I am making money from all of my writing I can do therapy for people at no cost, and perhaps even do some teaching at a college would be fun. I am no longer content with just getting by in life, my goals have been set and I know what I want to do and so now I am going to do what I can to go after them. Time and money are the two things against me, but fortunately both of them can be overcome with due diligence and hard work, not to mention some faith. I had lunch with a very good former co-worker of mine and her daughter which was delightful. It's nice to hang out with normal people and children who don't wine and complain about their issues or possess any issues to begin with. I did some writing, but barely touched it for some odd reason. I think if I knew that my writing would make money I would be writing constantly, but since it is at my leisure and only for people who take the time to go out of their way and read it...well it can be difficult to obtain motivation to write. I watched week 4 of In Treatment and boy what a week it was. I finally found out how bad of a therapist the main guy really is; wow! He crossed a line that should never, ever be crossed. What's horrifying is that this television series is representative of real individuals and situations that occur in reality. It's a sad  truth that there are a lot of messed up people out there in the world, and for several of them therapy won't probably help too much. Wow, that was really cynical of me to say. I have to work on that. I don't think that I'll have anything to post for tomorrow on my website, but hopefully I'll be a little further along on some recent projects that I have begun. The weekend is coming for everyone! Except for me since my weekend has been happening since June 11th. My goodness how time flies.

Taken 2 Trailer (looks amazing, but too bad that they had to spoil the whole idea with a sequel. Oh well, perhaps it will actually be good instead of just looking like it.

Judge Dredd Trailer (how bad can bad get? Well watch this and you'll see.)

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Bon Appetit!

Well today was the first day of summer and was the longest day of the year or something like that if I read the newspaper correctly. Productivity wise it wasn't the best of days, but I was able to do a little bit of writing, and actually I came up with a rather scrumptious idea for a children's story. Did more job searching, and then did a whole lot of nothing. I had a good friend come over and we watched Julie & Julia which was of course amazing! That film I think was actually what gave me the idea to begin blogging, and so here I am almost 2 years later still going at it, and with a website to boot. Hah! I bet I didn't think I'd be doing that when I was in high school. Although I wish sometimes that I had more to blog about then just random thoughts sometimes, but then part of the writing process that can be interesting is the portion which keeps and interferes with the creative juices or what fuels them. My cover designer is sending me the proof for the cover for the 2nd edition of The Curse of A Warrior so I'm hoping it looks fabulous, and if not I'm hoping that we can make it look something great. Other than that the day was fairly uneventful. Oh one thing I did try to day was this ABS workout on Youtube; wow it killed me! I never knew you could work your abdominal muscles in so many different ways. And then I found this video to work out chest and bicep muscles and this guy did what he called "dynamic push-ups" and I marveled at how this man was doing what he did without falling flat on his face like I would. I wasn't brave enough to try that yet, perhaps tomorrow. Today was better, although I heard some news that broke my heart concerning my old job but that is as much as I will say. Life can suck, but life can really suck more for other people. Well everyone take care of yourselves and remember that your decisions have the ability to affect thousands of people so be mindful of everything you commit to.

Julie & Julia Trailer

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Busy & Fast.

And no the title of this blog isn't referring to anything...well, never mind about that. I for some reason suddenly feel quite tired although considering I haven't worked at a full time job for over a week I really don't have much of an excuse. I actually just finished writing another short story for my Modern War Story series The Sword and the Shield: Risking Everything. It ended up being longer and taking longer to finish than I had anticipated, but it was for the best. I have finally reached a plateau in the series where I begin to tie all of the story lines together and weave them into a successful climax, which I believe will be quite spectacular if you have been keeping track of the series. FYI if you haven't read this whole series or need a little bit of a refresher it might be best to read this story The Sword and the Shield: Blood and Peace before reading the one above, otherwise it might be just a little confusing. However, I think they stand alone fairly well; if you want background though before diving in the option is there. I also made some delicious chocolate chip cookies which look like they turned out fairly well despite my evil oven that runs ridiculously hot. I did some job hunting and some associates of mine suggested a few places to apply at which was awesome; good people and good friends are difficult to come by, and so far I seem to be doing quite well in that department thankfully. I made myself dinner and cleaned up the kitchen; so the latter part of the day was very, very productive while the first part was lazy. I guess it was a trade-off. I watched quite a few episodes from The Clone Wars and there was this one very powerful and cool character that said something I found amusing and insightful; "Men are easy to acquire, but hard to control." I wonder if that is true in reality, or just within the Star Wars realm? Anyways it provided a lovely distraction, and perhaps I can eventually get myself to watch full feature films again instead of watching television shows and doing nothing but thinking. Luckily today was better than yesterday, but there are still a fair few raw emotions that don't really want to go away yet. Oh there is something that I would like to bring to everyone's attention; if you enjoy the freedom of the world wide web and dislike government interference and "big brother" like behavior from the government then you should be made aware of something many countries of the worlds are attempting to do. A lot of countries, especially ones that are centered around dictators and individuals yearning for that ultimate power, are attempting to create a body within the U.N. that would regulate the entire internet for the entire world. Each member get's a vote and a say, but there are others that are pushing very fervently for the U.N. to create greater control over things like email and social networking, therefore preventing what happened in Egypt, Syria, and Iran to happen to them or in a more unified and calculated attempt. Right now a private non-profit does all of the internet stuff which is how it should remain; governments should stay out of such things. I don't know everything about the matter and will keep you all posted as I learn stuff, but one thing is for certain. He who controls the internet in the future will control the entire world and everyone who is a part of that network no matter how small. That makes me very nervous and concerned.

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent in the upcoming film called Maleficent. I'm kind of excited about this one, since I loved that classic Disney villain, and now she get's her own film! Hopefully nobody screws it up.

The Clone Wars "Mother Talzin & Count Dooku"

The Master Trailer (looks weird, but interesting. Should be fascinating to see Joaquin Phoenix act again).

Monday, June 18, 2012

A Week Later.

Yes it has been a week since I got fired from my job, and yes the whole situation still sucks for a number of reasons. So I was bummed for most of the day, but I still did quite a bit of job hunting and I spruced up my resume and other papers for potential job submission. I must admit that I feel very ambivalent about entering the job market again after being employed in one place for so long, but the show must go on. I have been writing a lot on my blogs lately since I have had the extra time, but today I really don't feel like writing much, and what I truly feel like would be inappropriate to write on here. Ever since I got fired for what I was writing on this blog, I have found myself analyzing every possible thing wondering if what I write next could get me in some form of trouble. I wonder if the person who complained to the company about what I was writing continues to read and to look for other reasons to incite trouble against me. When life sucks, you have a lot of time on your hands, you tend to wonder a least I do. A part of me is curious about what I should or shouldn't write on this blog, since I was apparently wrong with my discretion in that regard. I miss my former clients and co-workers, yet I am also wondering what many of them are thinking of me; do they consider if I abandoned them (in regard to the kids) since I didn't even get to say goodbye, or do some of my former co-workers think ill of me because of what they heard that I did? These are some of things that are going through my head while also trying to figure out my current lack of employment situation. I guess there will be some bad days until I get through it all and get another job, but even then I think it will take a good amount of time to get rid of the black hole left in my heart from being torn away from the professionally healthy relationships that I formed with my previous clients. Grief and loss sucks because there is no set timetable; we all get over such things at different paces, different ways, and it takes different amounts of time. I really hope that tomorrow is better, although I did get around to doing some writing today, not as much as I  was hoping for but still I tried. After watching week 3 of In Treatment I had a very good conversation with my mother about some of the issues I had been dealing with and at the end of our conversation I inquired as to much I owed her, and called her doctor. She laughed, but really shed some light on a few things and listened well just like a therapist. Perhaps that is exactly what I needed, and look at everything that I wrote despite not feeling like writing a lot. I guess it just comes out as it does regardless of my supposed disposition. Have a good night and excellent day everyone.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Father's Day.

Yes today is the day that we celebrate the joy of having men as fathers around, although there are many that don't really stick around unfortunately. I am going to remain positive though and not drop into my cynical point of view on many matters of life. Congratulations to all of you good father's out there; you really haven't a clue how important you are to your children, and their development into healthy adults in all respects. Invest in them and you will be rewarded; do nothing, and well....don't be surprised if things go unpleasantly. Today was a gargantuan waste of time for me end of story. I thought about writing, but I am having too much doggone fun doing a whole lot of nothing, but I suppose that I should get my rear in gear tomorrow and move on with life otherwise I'll have some really huge problems in the near future. I hung out with a good friend for a little bit of time and she made the most delicious lunch/dinner and we watched A League of Their Own which stars Geena Davis, Tom Hanks, Rosie O'Donnell, and Madonna. Great movie, really humorous and a good story to boot. The rest of the evening I read the newspaper and watched Law & Order, however another thing that I recently found on Youtube is an original show that they have produced I believe, or something to that extent. It stars Julia Stiles and is called Blue; it's fairly intense and gritty, almost like it belongs on a premium cable channel, but it is very interesting and I like the short format. I posted some of them below. It's amazing what you can find on Youtube these days. It's most likely the future of all media watching; it should be interesting to see how many of the big boys jump on the bandwagon.

"Blue" Episode 1

"Blue" Episode 2

"Blue" Episode 3

"Blue" Episode 4

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Friends, Family & Their Value.

I find that people usually aren't fully aware of how much they need friends and family until they actually really need them; therefore we either undervalue or take them for granted in the mean time. I wouldn't say that this is a constant factor all of the time, but for me lately it is amazing how much friends and family are helping me get through this crisis in my life in even the smallest of ways. Today I spent a good amount of time with a very good friend of mine that I met while going to college; I am also very close with her entire family, and that is what they became to me kind of like a second family out here where I live. Having a friend to talk with about life and also to enjoy it with creates a useful distraction from the irritations and horrors of life. Today I didn't do much in the way of writing per se, although I did begin working on a very special project which I will not discuss at all on this blog for a very, very long time. Wisdom now teaches me to carefully guard my words that get broadcast around the world as fools and busybodies are in an abnormal abundance. Did you like that alliteration there. I like those little literary accidents that happen when you write. I spoke to me mum today about what happened at my previous place of employment and she had some good things to say, and helped distract me from all of that crap. We were chatting about good things to eat when she informed me of some "super foods" that you should try to eat a couple times a week for many reasons which I cannot remember. Let's see......: black olives, salmon, cranberries, blueberries, broccoli, cauliflower, and nuts are seemingly the only ones that I can remember at the moment, although I'm certain there's a few more. Try to eat these foods as close to the source as you possibly can to receive their full benefits. Also, try to at least do 20 minutes of exercising a day at the bare minimum apparently; she got all of this from The South Beach Diet which from what I understand is pretty solid, although I don't know if I could consistently exercise that much a day unless I had someone to do it with. Family and friends therefore are extremely important, even though there are several times you'd like to proverbially strangle them for some of the dumbest and most ridiculous things. If people are inherently valuable and priceless, then how much more are family and friends.

The South Beach Diet Eating Suggestions (yes I know this is a blog primarily about writing, but I take what comes at me and there ya go).

Friday, June 15, 2012

Running Away.

I have a theory on why perhaps people really enjoy genres like fantasy, science fiction, and adventure; it is easy to disassociate from reality any of those three. For example in my case, Star Wars encompasses all three of those genres which is why I often throw myself into something having to do with that particular fictional universe. On average reality sucks for most people, otherwise there wouldn't be such things like Facebook, films, or books; people have a need to escape, but for how long and why are the reasons between sanity and addiction. Although I do love a good drama, there is something about watching or participating in something that has no grounds in real life. Perhaps you're transported in a time machine to the ancient American west, or speeding through the cosmos on a massive starship, or casting spells against a demon attempting to steal the prince or princess. In a way therefore for me writing becomes an escape because I create these worlds and any that I would like; there are no limits (although if I want to have a job apparently I cannot write a single thing about my place of employment). That is how I have been surviving this week; I have been mentally escaping to these fantastic worlds where my problems don't exist, and neither do the problems of this world. I don't know if you've been keeping up on current events, but the entire world is about to explode in one colossal, epic, apocalyptic mess. There is trouble everywhere, and this great cloud of fear looming over most of the people of this planet. Now everyone is most likely afraid for different reasons, but most if not all are desiring a way to escape that fear, that pain that gnaws deeply at the psyche. I have found just sitting around and thinking is not good, because...well your mind begins to twist and make things worse than they actually are and before you know it you're doing something that you will end up regretting. I think as we are human it is necessary to escape, albeit healthily, to survive this constant haggling called existence. It could be construed as running away, but let's face it; on average it is far more easier to run away from problems then deal with them head on. I'm not suggesting that people run away from the crap that is occurring in their lives, but it's not easy to face it with or without support, which does make it usually easier to bear. As I mentioned above, this week has been all about escaping from what is happening on inside of my head. I did take some steps today to deal with reality, but they were tiny; can't swallow the whole whale in one sitting. I was watching the Clone Wars wishing that Star Wars was real today, which I'm not certain if being in the center of a galactic war would be better than where I currently am, but the thrill of being elsewhere with new possibilities and new adventures was exhilarating to contemplate. How many people wouldn't prefer to have a clean slate somewhere else and start over without any of the troubles and difficulties that they had before. However, then you wake up and realize that all of that is impossible and that you have to face reality and deal with your problems or become a victim of your own inaction and failures. Our problems and suffering (should at least) help us grow wiser and stronger and prepare us for the future so that we may help others who have similar difficulties. Eventually with time we look back on our previous trials and sometimes smile, and perhaps are even grateful that they happened to us otherwise we would not be the people that we are. See what happens when I don't have a job; I think too much and then write too much. Well I'm not certain if any of that made any sense up there, but I found that writing also helps me cope regardless what I am writing about, so there I did something therapeutic; I shared my feelings with the entire world. Please be kind and don't fire me from the universal internet community. My attempt at sounded funny somewhat in my head. Hey you have to make light of the crap going on, otherwise...well it makes things easier to talk about. Anyhow. I think I have endlessly yacked enough for today. Needless to say I didn't get any writing done; it was difficult to focus my creative energies constructively. Ciao!

Puff The Magic Dragon (here's a little bit of escaping for you; I grew watching this).

"Once in Every Lifetime" by Jem (I felt that it in a way was a bit of a pep talk for me).

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Myths & The Cowboy.

George Lucas I believe stated that the American Cowboy was America's mythology, whereas Britain has King Arthur. I think at the beginning of this week I was flipping through Youtube when I found a couple of songs from westerns like Rio Bravo and El Dorado (which is in my opinion the best western ever). If you listen to the lyrics in both songs, they really do seem...epic, as in the journey a hero takes. For some reason both songs really...I don't want to say spoke to me, but I can't think of another way to describe it. It made me remember what it felt like in Montana when I was visiting my friend up there; life can be very simple and straightforward when you're looking at a mountain from its base and figuring out how you are going to survive climbing it. I really don't know if I can describe my thoughts on it without giving it serious thought and time, but I felt like running away out there and living like a cowboy without any of the troubles in the world and none of the entanglements either. Perhaps that is the draw of the cowboy; unfettered freedom and the opportunity challenge oneself to be better than what is around you, so is to survive of course which was more likely what it was like about a hundred years ago. Anyways, some food for thought. The songs are below if you're interested. The thoughts about cowboys and myths have been pumping my creative juices lately to write some kind of story about such archetypes, but I have a feeling that such a story would take me a great deal of time and effort to properly research and write to do it real American justice. Today was somewhat lazy as well, but I did finish writing that Modern War Story The Sword and the Shield: Casualties of War. I have been trying lately to make each of the editions different in some regard. This story I struggled with because I wanted it to be essentially all internal and taking place in one spot, or rather scene. I had to perpetuate for as long as I could, but I definitely struggled. It's shorter than some of my other stories, but it is certainly narrative intense. It didn't turn out quite the way I intended, but it took on a life of its own. And now I am releasing it out into the world hoping for the best. I'm going to try and knock out another one this week being that I won't be working at a full time job. I hope that most people are aware of what Russia is trying to do with supporting Bashar al-Assad with giving them military equipment to butcher people. What's interesting is when both Russia and Iran claim the U.S. is attempting to destabilize the Syrian government by providing logistical support via the CIA and therefore are acting very antagonistically towards the U.S. Well I hope that we are trying to destabilize Assad's regime; the bloody man has committed 4 known massacres so far, but more will be likely revealed and done before the bloody conflict is over. God be with those people. Usually at this point I state that my work week will be beginning, but not for a while. The job hunt continues though.

My Rifle, My Pony, & Me--Dean Martin

Ride Boldly Ride--"El Dorado"

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

So Much Laziness!!!!!

So yeah the title says it all. Though I did get some writing done. I began writing another Modern War Story and got pretty far with it, but I had to stop because it was beginning to get.....rather dull. So hopefully tomorrow I will pick it up, finish it, and then post it on my website. Today wasn't a complete waste as I did more job searching and found some more interesting prospects, but I'm debating on whether or not I want to go back into the mental health field. It can be a rather taxing field to be in, and honestly I like the idea of never having possible to ever restrain another individual again. Actually the more I think about it, the more I am not going to miss several things that were part of my job. Perhaps this is going to be a really good thing, getting fired and all. The task now will be finding a job that I am equipped to do, and one if possible that I would want to do and not just get stuck with, or have to do simply because I need the money. I found out that in order to deal with problems that suck in life, humor is a great and fantastic way to deal with it all, hence all of the Robot Chicken stuff today. Although some (over half probably) is rather crude, I have to admit that it is very funny and makes me laugh, but that might have something to do with my understanding of Star Wars as well. My friends and family are also helping me through this time, which all combined together might be why I am handling it so well so far, otherwise.....well yeah, maybe not so good without. That first day (Monday) was a difficult one, but I got through it relatively unscathed and so here I am a few days later still standing. Truly I'm not being as productive as I should be, but hey sometimes you work at a pace only your mind sets no matter how much your willpower wants to do something else. Anyways, tomorrow will be similar to today hopefully. I would like to go see Prometheus but I don't know if I want to try and afford it or not. All those tiny little things you have to worry about without a steady income. Hope everyone else's week is going well.

The Escalator
Dinner with Darth Vader
Yarael Poof Get's Pizza
C-3PO Takes Spanish
It's a No Guys
Mon Mothma Orders

Tuesday, June 12, 2012


The title says it all. Basically all I did today was chill, do nothing, and talk to people. My family has been very helpful so far in comforting me and assuring me of their support in any way that they can. My friends and old co-workers have also been fantastic with helping me out so far. I think the whole getting fired thing and being unemployed is beginning to be okay with me, I'm not thrilled about not having a paying/full-time job but I'm accepting what happened. However, whenever I think back on work I begin to feel depressed and slightly angered. I had difficulty figuring out why I felt this way, and then I realized it was because I was going to miss the kids I worked with. Despite everything that happened between the clients and I, yes I will miss them and some more than others. What really sucks is that I didn't get to say goodbye to any of these kids; there was no closure for them or me. In a sense we had become a kind of family since I had been there for over 2 years, and then in a matter of hours it was all over. I'm not entirely certain what the company I worked for has in mind when they state that they are trying to not re-traumatize the kids, yet do something like this which I am pretty certain will impact at least a few of the kids fairly negatively. It's their company though, and they can do what they want; it's really easy to make sweeping decisions from a cushy chair in air conditioning as leaders throughout all of time have done. Time to move on though; as it is said, no rest for the wicked. I was talking to my sister, and I told her that I must be getting popular or controversial if I am getting fired for what I write about on my blog. Not certain if that is a good way to find out or not, or if it might just be wishful thinking. Who knows. I thought about writing today, but whenever I am distracted emotionally or worried about something it is difficult for me to write. My memoirs previous working experiences could be something that I could write about, although I suppose I should finish that Modern Warfare series. Now that I have no job I should be able to find all kinds of time to write! Why doesn't that excite me? Hmm.... Hopefully by tomorrow I should be able to pick myself back together and get moving on with life, unless of course something else unexpected happens that is negative, which would be just my luck to. Prayers for guidance, positivity, and all of that kind of stuff would be most appreciated. Oh yeah, and I will not be blogging about that job ever again, or paying one for a couple of weeks at least. Here we go.

The Clone Wars Season 5 Trailer (It looks so amazing!)

Monday, June 11, 2012

Apologies & Regrets.

I have been thinking for a good portion of the day about how I was going to write the post for today, and still I remain uncertain but here it goes. Today I was given an opportunity to find something new in life to do as I was "let go" from what was my current position at my now former place of employment. It was very sudden, and unfortunately the problem began here on my blog. Due to my comments about what happened to me and what I experienced at my place of employment which I would write out to my knowledge in a way that protected the identities of individuals about whom I was writing about I was fired. It was my mistake to write what I did and I apologize to anyone that I hurt, angered or irritated. I regret what I wrote, although I disagree with how the company that employed me went about dealing with the matter. It was a very emotional day, and very difficult to deal with the many emotions and other thoughts that come with losing something like this. I worked at this job for two and a half years approximately, many of the staff and clients had become like family and all of that was taken away from me in a matter of minutes. It makes me sad to think about it, and especially sad and worried about the several previous clients that I had formed close relationships with that now don't even get to say goodbye to me or I them. When my manager and assistant manager sat me down and told me the bad news, my head felt numb and it was as if I was falling backwards away from the conversation. I felt tingly and completely caught off guard; I wasn't talking to anyone, and time went by really fast, yet slow. I looked at places I had seen a hundred times that I would never see again. I walked out that front door with my supervisor for the final time and drove off. I'm kind of a nostalgic person so that clearing out your locker and leaving, it always gets me (although I didn't say goodbye to anyone as I didn't think it would be a good idea). I am looking for the silver lining in all of this, which I am certain there is one; God always takes care of me no matter the situation or magnitude of the problem. I hope for all of the best for all of the previous clients that I worked with up to today, and I will miss them (like I am suddenly already). I will also miss working with some of the finest Child Care Workers the world has ever known. Very few people know what we deal with or what we go through at our job, and I endeavored to show a little taste of that here on my blog, apparently though that was my mistake. Child Care Workers are heroes; heroes that are showed and given nothing for all of the hard work and pain they endure to make life safer for the general populace and for the "special" populace as well. So there it is, hopefully I didn't write anything offensive, mean, unprofessional, or demeaning as that was not nor is my intention. Now, the rest of the day I was kind of laying around my apartment trying to calm myself down. I distracted myself with a little bit of Frasier and I talked to some people which helped me cope with my anxiety and depression. I got the first disc for season 1 of the show In Treatment from Netflix today and it looks very promising so far. Can't say very much about it so far since each episode is barely 30 minutes long, but as a psych person I'm highly intrigued. I later on did some job hunting and found some interesting, if not amusing prospects. Well, the future holds a great deal and I am almost free to choose any path that I desire. For that I suppose I should be very grateful. We shall see though how things go. And I hope that most of everyone else's Monday went better than mine.

In Treatment Documentary/Trailer (on one of the couples for season 1)

"Mad World" Music Video from Donnie Darko (it seemed to fit for today in some way.)

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Then There Was a Blank.

Can't really say much about the day of any note. Work kept me busy, but nothing really interesting or exciting happened to me, although the kid that punched me in the face multiple times on Friday apologized again to me which was great to hear. It's also comforting to know that particular client doesn't always exhibit physical violence. I felt like I was always doing something and didn't ever really have a moment to sit down and catch my breath. But I 2/3rd's done with my work week, so I'm looking at the upswing and I don't have any training this week!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

"Harsher Law's for Parole Violaters....."

"...And World Peace." If you have never seen the comical film Miss Congeniality starring Sandra Bullock then you are missing a real treat. There is nothing like coming home after dealing with stress for a good part of the day and watching something that is completely humorous with very little basis in reality, or any basis in reality. I highly recommend that film and most films that Sandra Bullock has starred in, whether or not they're comical or drama. Work went very, very well today and wasn't that stressful at all; God was quite good to me in that regard. The client that punched me in the face multiple times yesterday along with clawing, spitting, kicking and such stuff apologized to me today; he just walked right up to me and said that he was sorry. I was cool with it, even though I was very surprised that he was apologizing of his own volition (or at least that is what it seemed like). When he's calm he appears to be a very kind and enjoyable individual, but I suppose that is your average individual in the world mostly. I'm going to take a leap into "what if" territory for a few moments and hopefully everyone will think about it with a clear mind and not allow themselves to get....offended or angry. If the western powers knew that Adolf Hitler was committing mass genocide, would they have invaded Europe sooner, would they have invaded Europe if Hitler hadn't gone to war with anyone to prevent millions of people from dying? I unfortunately don't have an answer to that, but for what Assad is doing in Syria he definitely needs to be removed from power. Like Hitler, nothing but forcible removal via military action will work; there are some people who just can't be reasoned with, which is how most dictators are. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why there was so much war during the dark ages in Europe. I really hope the world get's off it's lazy backside and does something besides threaten to impose sanctions and "get very concerned" and "angry;" the people of Syria deserve more than that. Well work week is half over; let's see if I can avoid anymore physical injury or assault.

Miss Congeneiality "World Peace" Clip

Miss Congeniality Trailer

Friday, June 8, 2012

"I'm Having an Old Friend for Dinner."

For some reason after being around severely emotionally disturbed children all day I decided to watch The Silence of the Lambs where sociopaths are in abundance. I love that film; Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster are astounding, and the film truly deserved the Best Picture Oscar that it received. It also has excellent quotable lines some of my favorite are, "It rubs the lotion on it's back or else it get's the hose." "People will say we're in love." "Have the lambs stopped screaming, Clarice?" And of course the line that I put in the title of the post. Good times. Work was quite....difficult once I got around 1pm. I was asked to switch out with this one staff who was dealing with a client who was experiencing some difficulties adjusting to being at the facility since he was fairly new. I had never really interacted with this child or spoke with this child before, and wasn't really talking to him even when I got involved in the situation. Mistake number 1; sitting too close to client in bad mood. The client out of nowhere punched me right in the face and I was caught completely unprepared, and somehow he punched me in the face again shortly thereafter. I was severely scratched multiple times, he kicked and punched me multiple times all over my body (fortunately missing the tender nether regions), and worst crowning moment of the assault was him spitting directly in my face. Somehow I was able to remain a sea calm, but upon returning to my apartment I had to find a healthy way to vent my.....frustration at the situation. I didn't get any black eyes and the scratches are mostly gone now, but that client could punch hard and good, and his aim wasn't too bad either. Think your job is bad or challenging? Remember this scenario, and then think to yourself that perhaps it could always be worse (not much of a consolation, but hey reality sucks most of the time). The client was eventually able to calm down and chill, I'm actually amazed that he was unable to bite me, for which I am very thankful for. Hopefully that will be the extent of my difficulties this weekend, but that might be too much to hope for. I hope that every one of you has a pleasant weekend regardless of what you are doing or surviving.

Anthony Hopkins winning the Oscar

The Silence of the Lambs Documentary (looks really good.)

Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Fall of a Republic.

When Octavian Caesar defeated Marc Antony and Queen Cleopatra at the battle of Actium and then later on  at the siege of Alexandria both of those iconic figures killed themselves: Marc Antony stabbed himself in the chest, and Cleopatra had a snake bite her in the breast. With the defeat of those two Octavian became the undoubted emperor of all Rome and ushered in the Pax Romana, although according to the series it came at a very high price. Obviously it wasn't very easy for Octavian to become emperor, but Rome stayed that way for the next 500 years, so whatever he did he made it last for a very, very long time and even after Rome's fall the Byzantine (eastern Roman empire) lived on until 1453 C.E. (or thereabouts). he created a powerful empire that has been attempted to be reproduced by several men, all of whom failed miserably, aside from carving their wicked names in the annals of history. With all of that done the HBO series Rome is officially over after 2 seasons. Was it good? Umm........well there were several parts of it that I found quite enjoyable. The vulgar, and debauched sex I found rather repulsive, and I wasn't a big fan of two of the main characters but fortunately one of them died and the other one survived, which I could live with him enduring into history so to speak. Would I watch it again? Not unless I could edit out all of the parts that I didn't like, which would be most of them. I liked the stories of Julius Caesar and Octavian along with all of the politics that surrounded them; they should have focused the show more around them and their families instead of two Roman soldiers, but whatever. It's an okay series, but you won't grieve going into the next life if you never see it, but it is an interesting window into the past society and culture, that is if it is a realistic depiction which it seemed as close at they could get it as I watched the documentaries that came with the episodes. Huh....I didn't really do anything else of any interest today. Oh I did hear back from my cover designer (the one I sent the scathing email to) and she too what I said well enough and is going to begin working on an original cover ASAP thank goodness.  On my political soap box for a moment. Kofi Annan is going to try and convince Russia and China to help dispose of Assad in Syria as another mass killing of civilians (women & children) is brought to light, and of course U.N. observers were fired upon when trying to investigate the situation. This is the resolve of a man who refuses to leave power. So naturally of course instead of militarily removing him from power, Kofi Annan and the U.N. are content to keep yacking their heads off while more innocent people die as Russia and China defiantly continue to thwart any action that will remove Assad from power. Let me go on record stating that the Chinese government is a vicious dictatorship run by people that suppress it's people, you don't have to look any further then the anniversary of the Tienanmen Square Massacre; if you are not familiar with that look it up on Youtube. Russia is run by a leader and select men of power that rig elections and intimidate people so that they can remain in power, and who knows if this man who has ties to the KGB. Both groups of power are afraid if another dictatorship is toppled that they might be next, so thus they are allowing people to die. It all sucks and those people in Syria especially have my sympathy and prayers, but lets not forget those individuals in China, Russia, North Korea, Iran, and Myanmar (even though they're making strides towards democracy). Let us hope that more democracies will be rising instead of falling like they did over two thousand years ago.

Rome Documentary on Marc Antony & Octavian

Star Wars documentary on all 6 films and the ethos and mysticism that surround them. Looked great, and I love Star Wars so here it is.